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A butterfly with a key for its body - The orthodox therapist

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So many of us grow up thinking that Judaism is against intimacy. That it’s something to avoid, fear, or feel guilty about. We hear about boundaries and rules, but not about connection and closeness. Not about desire, or joy, or how deeply good

She counted every day.
Tracked every symptom.
Went to mikvah exactly on time.

And still her fertile window had already passed.

I can’t tell you how many Orthodox women have quietly asked me:
“What if I’m ovulating before mikvah?&r

It’s easy to grow up thinking that holiness and sexuality live in separate worlds.
That Torah values quiet, modest obedience—but doesn’t leave space for passion.
That Shabbos is sacred, but the bedroom is… something to tiptoe

When I first read that pasuk in Devarim—*“v’simach et ishto”—he shall give happiness to the woman he has married—it stopped me.

Because no one ever taught me that happiness was part of the mitzvah.
Not just a nice

No one told me this part.

Not when I first learned the halachot.
Not when I was preparing for marriage.
Not when I started counting days, dreaming of building a bayis ne’eman.

They told me about the laws.
They told me about the beauty of mikv

Fairy tales end with a chuppah.
But real life begins there.

And it’s not all flowers and floating hearts.
It’s dishes.
It’s distraction.
It’s the quiet resentment that builds when you feel unseen.

No one tells you how much w

I remember the moment we signed our ketubah, hands trembling, heart racing.

We were surrounded by family, chuppah in sight, a future unfolding.

But no one really tells you:

The ketubah doesn’t stop being written the day it’s signed.
It